“I’m retreating to the woods”
It was so white of me. Not that like, going into the woods to touch a tree is an inherently white thing to do, it’s just a thing white people love to talk about doing.
I escaped my house, walked down the little winding path, filled my earbuds with a health and wellness podcast (something spiritual or motivating or entrepreneurial or…honestly is there any difference anymore?) and just sat.
Took a little time, maybe, to meditate.
Heard the birds yapping in the background, the rush of the wind and got grounded for a minute. Got thankful and present and all of that. Only to head back home, get a terrible email and proceed to have a fucking meltdown.
So much for being present.
Okay, okay meditation is a good thing.
Like every other post, I write on here has something about being present. I think that’s really valuable, but I think a lot of the “self-care” craze or whatever that’s happening right now is not about living our entire lives better, but instead, selling us a quick-fix.
You put the MCT oil in the coffee. Go to yoga after work. Meditate before bed. Whatever. All of these little life hacks that are done by supposedly every billionaire on the planet. And if you don’t live exactly like them then you’ll definitely become homeless, right?
The problem with going to yoga is not that it doesn’t help, it just doesn’t dig out the roots. While you’re getting planted on your yoga mat, the stress of the day gets buried under a facade of positivity and peace.
I adore yoga. But you can still be an asshole and do yoga. You can still be stressed out 95% of the time and do yoga. And sloshing down a green smoothie in the morning won’t solve much either.
There’s absolute value to being present. Just as there’s value in getting your gut in check. But I do wonder at what point the green and pink blogs with the white women on yoga mats are going to start feeling like a cover-up. When people look around and realize that by only surrounding themselves with the positive, they’re never going to battle the negative. When the news is so bad that you’re actually just kind of being an asshole by ignoring it for the sake of your “positive vibes only” nonsense.
Life, as I’ve observed from my short-ish time on the planet, isn’t happier with little tools and lifehacks. But when you dig into the dirt, sift through the weeds and start a brand new plant.
That, I think, is true growth.
It’s just, you know, a whole lot harder to sell.
Originally published on The Ascent
Here are more ways to become a part of The Good Men Project community:
Request to join our private Facebook Group for Writers—it’s like our virtual newsroom where you connect with editors and other writers about issues and ideas.
Click here to become a Premium Member of The Good Men Project Community. Have access to these benefits:
- Get access to an exclusive “Members Only” Group on Facebook
- Join our Social Interest Groups—weekly calls about topics of interest in today’s world
- View the website with no ads
- Get free access to classes, workshops, and exclusive events
- Be invited to an exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” with other Premium Members
- Commenting badge.
Are you stuck on what to write? Sign up for our Writing Prompts emails, you’ll get ideas directly from our editors every Monday and Thursday. If you already have a final draft, then click below to send your post through our submission system.
If you are already working with an editor at GMP, please be sure to name that person. If you are not currently working with a GMP editor, one will be assigned to you.
Are you a first-time contributor to The Good Men Project? Submit here:
Have you contributed before and have a Submittable account? Use our Quick Submit link here:
Do you have previously published work that you would like to syndicate on The Good Men Project? Click here:
Join our exclusive weekly “Call with the Publisher” — where community members are encouraged to discuss the issues of the week, get story ideas, meet other members and get known for their ideas? To get the call-in information, either join as a member or wait until you get a post published with us. Here are some examples of what we talk about on the calls.
Want to learn practical skills about how to be a better Writer, Editor or Platform Builder? Want to be a Rising Star in Media? Want to learn how to Create Social Change? We have classes in all of those areas.
While you’re at it, get connected with our social media:
However, you engage with The Good Men Project—you can help lead this conversation about the changing roles of men in the 21st century. Join us!
Do you want to talk about how to have richer, more mindful, and enduring relationships?
We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable.
Photo credit: Shutterstock ID 1040528056